Home alone with me and my sick thoughts........

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Here I am in the middle of the worst depression I have experienced in decades, and I get THIS in the mail.  What, is the universe trying to tell me something?

If I wasn't such a gutless coward I'd get in on this exciting opportunity right away....

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Death Comes to Pendragon Hold

No, NO; relax.....tis the washing machine I speak of, one of the hardest working "members" of this family, who, with little complaint other than trying to shake this "mobile" home off it's foundations during it's many less-than-balanced spin cycles, performed it's dreary task of washing our clothes day after day (with nary a penny in wages) for more than ten straight years. Now THAT, my friends, is a very good example of dependability. And this was after several years of leaking oil from what must have been the transmission, which seems to be where the breakdown has occurred. At any rate, it is beyond my mere mortal ability to repair, so dearly departed machine now sits on the front porch awaiting it's journey into it's next incarnation, which may be as spare parts for other machines, or to be miraculously brought back to life by the donated organs of even less fortunate washers.

I have already taken the funds I had managed to save up to try and pay our property taxes off sooner than later and invested some of them in a new machine I found on the Home Depot website. Rather than replace it with another cheap machine with the same irritable qualities, I have gotten the cheapest front-loading model I can find, one that is much more energy efficient, using less water AND electricity to do a better job than the old conventional one did. I think I got a pretty good deal on it. It was about a hundred bucks cheaper in total than the cheapest one I could get at the local retail store, and it will be delivered just as quickly (go figure).

Dunkin, the feral kitten we adopted and saved from the pound is now a fully grown and very sturdy cat, who thinks he's a dog, and pretty much sticks around the house he was raised in even though he's been exiled from the interior due to his somewhat ballistic behaviors. He LOVES Shiloh to death and always greets him with enthusiasm, rubbing all over him much to the dog's annoyance. Shiloh tolerates him about as much as your average human big brother tolerates his younger sibling, which means with patience than can be taxed. Already, Dunkin has made a friend of a neighbor cat, an orange animal of about the same age and size, whom we have naturally referred to as "Punkin". Both these animals are healthy and well fed, due probably to them shuttling back and forth between both households and sharing their meals. I just hope they stay friends and don't get into any territorial disputes as older male cats can be known to do. Who knows what will happen when their fancies turn to that OTHER sex..........

As far as the back/leg problems I've been experiencing goes, the first B-12 shot I received has already seemed to have a positive effect, lessening my symptoms to some degree, but I am allowing for the possibility of the placebo effect, and will not make a more-than-subjective judgement concerning these treatments until I have had a few more shots and have felt undeniable benefits that point towards this vitamin deficiency as a real diagnosis. It still remains that my symptoms are relieved with a night's horizontal orientation during sleep, so I still personally suspect a disc/nerve problem, even if the imaging can't pinpoint it. It won't be the first time a diagnosis couldn't be nailed due to the limitations of x-rays and MRI's or the "experts" who interpret them. I'm STILL rooting for the vitamin cause, though.

Oh, and the person who couldn't control their vehicle and took out one of my fence posts (snapped that 4x4 wood post right off at ground level), it is apparent from the piece of your car you left at the scene that you probably suffered more for it economically than I did, so I will settle for what little smug satisfaction I can get from that. Thanks for not leaving a note of apology, you asshole!

But for now, I leave you while listening to Praire Home Companion and abiding some Firefly Mint Tea vodka and coke.  Life could be worse, couldn't it?

That's pretty much what's fit to print for now! Have a blessed day!

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Frustration Station, what's your situation........

Sorry it took so long to post but I really needed good, quality post material to rear it's ugly head before I could put fingertip to key.

Went and saw the (right at this very moment, one symptom rears it's ugly head; drawing blanks when calling forth a word)............PRIMARY (that's it!) Shaman and he reads the MRI report which admits to some "minor" bulging of one of my lower discs and some "spurs" somewhere in there, but nothing to explain my symptoms. But WAIT! There's MORE!

It suddenly occurs to him after looking back over my lab values that there might actually be a valid explanation for these peculiar symptoms, and he tells me the story of the elderly gentleman who comes to him with a similar case years ago who shows up something like 5 years later in a wheelchair due to advanced paralysis DUE, get this, to really low levels of B-12 that were never properly treated. Now, I have what you call "low normal" values, but the lab did put in a disclaimer that my 355 qualifies me for a risk of having "psychoneurologic" disorders much like I have been seeking help for, including short term memory loss, which I have been attributing to simply being 50-something AND working as a PCT.

SO, he gave me a B-12 injection and I'll be getting three more once a week, and if we see no improvement after that, THEN it's on to the neurologist to see if he can make sense of it. So, knowing full well just how bad life can get when you allow a surgeon to go mucking around in your back with a knife, I am ROOTING for the B-12 deficiency! As needle-phobic as I am, I am much more afraid of scalples and the resulting effect on my financial as well as physical well being. 20% of THAT kind of medical bill could very well put us out on the street......well, put ME on the street; The Wife does have one daughter doing well enough to take her in. After all, those real fine patriotic American conservatives and members of the "Tea Party" are doing what they can to repeal Obamma care, so pathetic unreal Americans like me who only want to "drag this country to it's knees" by getting sick and needing help can just go suck on a tail pipe. I'd rather do that than become a pain-ridden burden on my wife or family anyway.

I know this post resembles some of my old pessimistic material, but it seems that depression is another symptom that this syndrome provides for, amongst other things I have been having to deal with lately. So please, forgive my tone for now and wait it out with me while we see if these shots have a positive effect or not. After all, this post is nowhere near as dark and gloomy as it's capable of being, if you know me at all......

Until I find the motivation to come back with another post (and I'm sure I will, I'm so damn ornery)....blessed be you all.